Only You (A Sweet Torment Novel) Read online

  His eyes drifted shut for a brief moment, then were back on my face. He kept them there and surged forward, thrusting all the way to the hilt in one glide.

  “Oh!” I gasped and clutched to his back.

  He withdrew and shoved again. I clawed harder, grabbing his shirt and hiking it up so I could feel his skin. Trapped between a cold wall and a hot man, I squeezed him with all the strength I had.

  His face rested between the crook of my neck and shoulder and he bit down as he drove in and out. Hard. Fast. Deep. No, deep was an understatement. He was so fucking deep it made me squirm and my skin light up like flames.

  Still holding tight, he moved his hands to the backs of my thighs and spread me wider as he continued to fuck me. Every one of his muscles was tense. He had so much strength, and currently, I was surrounded by it. My ass banged against the wall with every thrust upward. It was then that I looked up and saw the mirror above the sink and my reflection staring back.

  With Leo’s shirt lifted, I saw a massive tribal tattoo stretch from the middle of his back, up his shoulder and disappear beneath the fabric. The black ink seemed to come alive against his olive skin. His shoulder and back muscles bunched tightly as he flexed his hips and moved himself in and out.

  Pure strength. And there was something beautiful about it. My small hands clinging to a mountain of a man as he consumed me . . . and I merely took it.

  I stayed there, supported by only his strength, and simply watched. Watched all the power he unleashed as he took me. He wasn’t holding back. Wasn’t soft. And in that moment, I loved him for it.

  Over and over, he gave me what I needed. The fire was building low in my belly and goose bumps broke over my skin. I felt his chest and abs graze against me as he moved. Everything about him was solid, like stone. I just wish I could get a better view of him, but that would mean stepping back, drawing away, and that wasn’t happening.

  My spine tingled, my legs went numb, and my entire body shot alive with sparks and heat.

  “Leo . . .” I gasped his name and dug my nails into his back.

  He kissed me hard, then followed my gaze. Stilling inside of my body, he glanced over his shoulder and found what I was looking at. Us. In the mirror.

  He looked back at me, grinning, and thrust hard. I came apart around him.

  “That a girl,” he growled and mashed his lips against mine. Swallowing down every gasp and moan and scream. “I feel you coming all over me, angel.”

  His big body tensed and I felt his cock swell even farther inside me, prolonging the best orgasm I’d ever had even more.

  Wrapping his arms around me, he came. Hugging me closely, he gave a final pump of his hips and it made my entire skin flush with a fresh dose of need.

  Breathing hard, we came down together. He slowly pulled out and I slid down his body. His shirt fell back to cover his chest before I got a good look at all the strength that had just supported me.

  He turned and took care of the condom while I put my bra back in place and began buttoning up my shirt.

  When he turned back to face me, reclasping his belt, there was something about the way his forearms flexed with the movement that made me instantly wet again. Just the mere way this man moved with the simplest tasks—like fastening his belt—was hot. He stepped toward his hat on the floor.

  I cleared my throat and focused on righting my shirt.

  “That was nice,” I said.

  His boots halted instantly, causing a slight squeaking sound against the tile floor.

  “Nice?” I glanced up at him and he looked wounded in a playful way. “Ouch, Red.”

  “What?”

  He picked up his hat off the floor, shoved it into his back pocket and in two steps closed the distance between us. Cupping my hip he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips, effectively stilling me.

  “If that was a simple nice then I’m dying to see what incredible looks like.”

  I swallowed hard. If I were honest, what had just happened was more than nice. Hell, it was more than incredible. But it was also over.

  Just like my break from reality.

  The ache and pain of what had happened today was getting stronger. The effects of both the alcohol and Leo’s body cooling let the icy thoughts and reality sink in and chill my bones.

  I looked up to meet his stare.

  “Maybe next time, Red, we can aim for something beyond nice.”

  I smiled, then cleared my throat. “I don’t know, that sounds like a tall order.”

  “Challenge accepted.”

  I laughed and he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. For just having sex in a bathroom, he was being affectionate and sweet. Behavior I hadn’t expected.

  But the way he looked at me—blue eyes blazing and mouth a little swollen from raking all over my body—made me a little giddy.

  “Do you mind if I have a moment?”

  “Of course,” he said and walked to the door, unlocking it. Before he walked through, he glanced over his shoulder. “I’ll see you out there.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  With a smile, he shut the door behind him. I launched myself at the sink and splashed water on my face, trying anything to bring down the heat scouring my entire body. I looked in the mirror and my reflection was dizzying. All of the big red curls I tried hard to tame on a regular basis were wild and my skin was flushed and—

  “Oh my God . . .” I tugged at the collar of my shirt and saw a big bite mark where my neck met my shoulder.

  A violent shiver rushed through me as I remembered his mouth on me. His hands. His teeth. I felt empty and achy and wanted that fullness back.

  But that was stupid. I didn’t know Leo. Shouldn’t care. I had a life that needed fixing and problems far beyond a one-night stand. Because that’s what this was. A one-night stand with the wrong kind of man.

  Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my purse and ran my palms down my skirt, attempting to smooth it. Which was useless because it was wrinkled to hell.

  Stepping out of the ladies’ room, I looked right. Down the hallway there was a glow of light and laughter and the smell of beer and fried food coming from the bar. It was where Leo waited. To the left was darkness and a draft that led to the back door.

  Closing my eyes and wanting nothing more than to be warm, to be someone else, to be the woman I was only a moment ago inside Leo’s arms, I made my decision.

  Real life didn’t give a shit about my fantasies.

  I pushed aside the growing emptiness rising in my gut and turned left, heading toward the back door away from yet another thing that held no future or promise of hope.

  Chapter Three

  Columbia?” I repeated, watching Hazel jump up and down in our living room holding a letter in her hand. The pounding in my temples was either my hangover from last night—which I was not thinking about, especially the fact that I had sex with a hot delivery guy then snuck out—or it was the fact that Hazel was moving faster than I’d ever seen her. Either way, my brain was spinning, trying to keep up. “That’s great—it was your first pick.”

  “Yeah! And because I was one of the top PhD candidates, I got in on the work-study program, meaning it comes with a dorm room on campus! I leave next week.”

  “Wow!” I hugged Hazel and she hugged me back, but was still bouncing. “I’m so proud of you.” And I was. She had been working so hard to get into this program.

  “Thank you,” she whispered, and hugged me harder, her shoulders going from buzzing to tense. “It’s only two hours away.”

  That’s when the details really sank in. She was leaving. Moving. And suddenly, my eyes hurt a little.

  My best friend, Amy, had moved in with her fiancé and my now former boss Governor Reese a few months ago, and it was just Hazel and me in our small apartment. Now Haz was leaving too.

  “Two hours is nothing. We’ll see each other all the time,” I said.

  She pulled back from the hug and something sad washed over her
face. “When you didn’t come home until late last night, I figured you were helping Roman out with this scandal. But Amy said you weren’t there.”

  I shook my head. “Everything and everyone surrounding Bill is a big mess right now, and I would only make things more complicated. I told Roman I would resign.”

  It was all I could muster to say because Hazel’s big brown eyes got bigger as she pushed her glasses up her nose, and a look of concern plagued her face.

  “Resign? God, Paige, I’m so sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”

  I shook my head. The story was set to break today, but I couldn’t turn on the TV or look at the paper. All I knew was that I wasn’t named as one of the women involved. As of yet. But I had been in politics long enough to know one thing: The press could be vicious. Roman was right to say they’d be digging.

  If Roman was able to get photos of me looking cozy with Bill, that meant it was possible for someone else to as well. Not to mention, I was Bill’s assistant, not intern. What were the chances I could miss the press’s radar? Likely not good. But they couldn’t publish anything if there was no source, and I sure as hell wouldn’t say anything. I just had to hope no one else would either.

  “I can’t talk about it actually.”

  The sex scandal was one thing, but the missing campaign funds were another. Call it a gag order or not, but until the investigation was closed and the money was found, I couldn’t discuss anything.

  Hazel opened her mouth but I cut her off. “Everything will be fine. I’m going job hunting this week.”

  She instantly smiled and her face lit up. She usually had a positive outlook on things. “With your skills and experience, you’ll be able to find something really quick.”

  I forced a smile. I didn’t think it would be easy, but surely I could find a job. I lived in the capital of New York and I had a background in politics. There must be something out there for me.

  The time for change was upon us. Not only for my career, but my life. Hazel was moving and I would have to as well. Our lease was up at the end of the month and there was no way I could afford this place on my own. Hazel and I had been stretching to pay rent since Amy moved out. Which left me without much of a nest egg. Nest egg was maybe a little too generous—I barely had enough to get through the next two weeks.

  “Looks like we’re both moving out of here soon,” I said.

  “I know this is short notice—”

  “Haz, this is a great opportunity for you,” I said, and grabbed her hands. “You have to go. And I’ll find something.”

  Maybe a little studio or one bedroom. Granted I needed a deposit and had no job, but I had to find something. Because the clock was ticking. And no way in hell was I leaving New York. This was where I’d built my life. This was where my two best friends were—and they were my only family. Indiana may have my mother, but it also had a shitty past.

  No. Leaving New York was not an option.

  “Amy and Roman are going to come help me pack up and move next week.”

  I smiled. That gave me some time before I had to see Roman, and hopefully by then, I could find a job and be able to hold my head high.

  My cell rang and I dug it out of my back pocket and answered it.

  “Hello?”

  “Is this Paige Levine?”

  I frowned. “It is.”

  “Can you comment on the fact that your former boss, Bill Vorse, had sexual relations—”

  “No comment,” I said quickly. I meant to sound poised and confident in my few words, but heat climbed from the pit of my stomach to the base of my skull and left me feeling nauseated. I didn’t know who this was—likely a random reporter—but one thing was certain: I could avoid the news, television, and every other mode of technology, but the scandal was happening, and that radar I’d been trying to stay off of had caught my blip.

  Hazel looked at me with concern in her eyes and I turned away from her.

  The reporter continued. “What about the fact you no longer work for the governor’s office? Were you fired? Or one of the women in Vorse’s affairs?”

  “No comment,” I said again, and hung up. Nothing good was going to come from this. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since I’d resigned, and the press was already on it.

  When I felt Hazel’s hand on my shoulder in a supportive gesture, I used all the strength I had to put on my best brave face before turning around to face her. With a deep breath, I attempted to block out the rising sickness in my chest and fear in my bones.

  But a low tremble still broke over my words. “So it begins.”

  I threw my purse on the floor and kicked the door shut. The past week had been full of rejection. I hadn’t even gotten a real interview. I’d hit every political job opening from assistant campaign manager to coffee runner and no one wanted anything to do with me.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I hit the door, then turned around and slid down to sit. My phone rang for the fourth time today with an anonymous number. After making the mistake of answering the first anonymous call last week, I’d learned my lesson and hadn’t answered since.

  Glancing around the four walls that Hazel, Amy, and I had shared, a chill pricked my skin. This was once my home and now it no longer felt like a warm sanctuary. My entire apartment was packed up in boxes. Hazel was leaving. Hell, I was leaving, I just didn’t have a destination yet. The few studio apartments I could afford required pay stubs.

  I leaned my head back on the door and laughed at the ceiling. “I have no job and no place to live.” It wasn’t until I said it out loud that I realized how scary a notion that was.

  The door nudged and bumped me. I stood up and Hazel walked in with Amy behind her.

  “Hey! How did the job hunt go?” Amy asked, and hugged me quickly.

  I looked at my feet and shook my head. The truth of my situation was wearing me down and while I was an honest person, I typically kept the unflattering details to myself. Hazel and Amy knew about the scandal involving Bill, but unless Roman told Amy everything, which I doubted, they didn’t know about the money or the fact there were questionable pictures of me with Bill. Yes, there was a legal aspect to this situation, but I truly believed Roman wouldn’t tell Amy about my struggles. Partly because he respected my privacy and partly because he’d made a point from the beginning to stay out of my and Amy’s friendship. Something I appreciated.

  “I’m unhirable. No one will touch me. As soon as they learn about my connection with Bill Vorse, all the red flags go up.”

  “They can’t discriminate against you,” Amy said. “I’ve watched the news, Paige. You’re not one of those girls. This is just unfortunate but it will clear up, and when it does, you’ll be fine.”

  Yeah, Amy didn’t know. Didn’t realize the press was already digging for more. Going through Bill’s entire office, staff, people directly and indirectly linked to him. My phone chirped again as if mocking me. Likely another journalist. On the grand scale of things, I wasn’t that exciting, not when there were interns with juicy stories to dish. They were still the focus, at least for now.

  I wanted to believe Amy though. That this would blow over and I’d be fine. But the truth was, I might be done in politics for good. Everything I’d built and worked for was slipping further away.

  “In the meantime, no one will hire me because of how it looks. And I can’t blame them.” Once upon a time, I was the one telling Amy that perception tended to matter more than the truth. And the past week was another demonstration of that fact.

  Hazel patted my shoulder. “You can come stay with me.”

  “I thought you were moving to a dorm on campus. Are the rules strict on that?”

  “We’ll just have to be careful.”

  “You mean sneaking me in and out?”

  “We’ll make it work, Paige.” Hazel’s smile was sunshine, rainbows, and everything happy in life. She was trying to help. I knew that. Loved her for it. But there was no way I’d put e
verything Hazel had worked for on the line. If she got caught “harboring” someone in her dorm, providing room and board on the university’s dime, she could get kicked out. Nope. We wouldn’t even risk it. I’d been in this kind of mess before and managed to start over just fine.

  “I really appreciate it, Haz, but I’ll be fine,” I said, straightening my shoulders and giving my best smile.

  “Why don’t you come stay with me then?” Amy said. “We have so much room.”

  I shook my head. “That’s not a good idea, Amy.”

  “Why?” She frowned.

  Even if I’d wanted to, technically Amy lived at the governor’s mansion. If I moved in, it would be really bad for the governor, especially when dealing with missing campaign funds and a sex scandal in his office.

  “Moving me in will look bad.”

  “You’re not named and you didn’t sleep with Bill,” Amy defended. She always had hope. Always believed the best even when reality was harsh. “There’s no way I’m letting my best friend go homeless.”

  “No one will go homeless,” Roman said, walking through the front door. My heart lurched because it was the first time I’d seen my former boss since the scandal broke. “Sweetheart, can you take that small box right there to the moving truck?” he asked Amy.

  Amy eyed Roman then me and smiled. She obviously was thinking there would be a happy exchange between Roman and me. I, however, knew better. Not because Roman was a bad guy—on the contrary. He was wonderful. But he had a cabinet to run and a state to think about.

  “I’ll grab this one too,” Hazel said and both she and Amy went outside.

  Roman stepped toward me. “You can’t stay with us,” he said softly.

  “I know, Governor. I was trying to tell Amy that.”

  He closed his eyes for a moment as if I’d hit him. “Paige, I’m truly sorry with what’s happening, and I’m sorry I can’t offer a place to stay, but I can pay for a—”

  “No,” I shot out quickly. “Thank you, Governor, but I don’t take handouts. Besides”—I crossed my arms and lifted my shoulder—“with the way funds, money, and transactions are being dug into, it wouldn’t be wise to leave any kind of paper trail from you to me. It could look bad if it was discovered and leaked.”