Breathe You In Read online

  He delved his tongue inside my mouth, drinking in every small moan I uttered. He tasted good. Like fresh ice and winter mints. Crisp and addicting. My palms slowly roamed over his torso. Hard, cut abdominal muscles jumped beneath my hands, and I grappled with the material of his shirt, suddenly upset that fabric was covering his impressive chest.

  “You taste like blueberries,” he growled against my mouth. “Sweet and ripe.”

  He nipped my bottom lip, then sucked it gently to ease the sting. My entire body lit up like crackling embers while my blood turned to lava. He wasn’t just kissing me—he was devouring me.

  Wanting a deeper draw of him, I rose to my tiptoes, fisting his shirt tighter for balance, and pushed my tongue past his teeth. He growled in response and tilted my head, returning my attentions full force. There was something about this man, something demanding and consuming. I wanted to take everything I could get. Everything he’d give me.

  The hand on my back drifted lower. Grabbing my ass, he pulled me into his body. His hardness rubbed against me and my hips shot out of their own accord, seeking more. Fire built and pressure bubbled low in my core. It had been so long since I’d been touched like this…

  No. I had never been touched like this.

  From the tips of his fingers to the strength of his biceps, his embrace engulfed me. I had thought I felt small in the world before? Standing within his arms, I felt tiny. Feminine. Protected.

  I wanted to tell him. To show him how good he felt…

  “Governor Reese?” a voice called from behind him.

  My eyes snapped open and he released his grip on me, turning to face the person who had interrupted.

  “Yes, Andrew?”

  “Pardon me, sir, but you’re needed inside.”

  He nodded, then faced me. My entire nervous system shut down, and I felt the blood drain from my face as I stared at him in horror.

  “Governor?”

  He grinned. “Of New York.”

  My heart lurched and sped up to an erratic pace, nearly bruising my eardrums with its loud thumping. Now I knew what Paige had been trying to say: governor.

  “Meet me at Angelo’s, Wednesday, at eight.” It wasn’t a request, it was a command, and I just stood there, dazed and way, way beyond confused. Though I was frozen in place, my skin was hot and aching. What should I say? What the hell should I do? I just got caught making out with the governor.

  Oh, God…

  I took off his jacket and handed it to him, then backed up several steps. He put it on, gave it a good tug, and fastened the middle button.

  “Pleasure meeting you, Miss Underwood.” He turned and left with the man—Andrew—who’d called him. I watched them walk away, staring at his strong back and broad shoulders, realizing that Andrew had an earpiece in. Security. The governor’s personal security.

  Andrew handed him a cloth and judging by his movements, the governor used it to wipe his mouth. The handoff looked practiced, normal.

  It hit me hard and painfully: Was this a habit of the governor’s?

  Chapter Two

  I have one deadline and miss all the fun,” Hazel said, putting her laptop on the coffee table and crisscrossing her legs on the couch. Her black hair was fastened in a messy bun on the top of her head, and her dark-rimmed glasses complemented her cute face and chipper tone.

  “How’s the writing coming?” I asked, walking through the front door with Paige and kicking my heels off.

  “Almost done. Gotta love grad school papers,” she groaned. “Speaking of loving things, sounds like you had an interesting night.” Hazel winked.

  I turned to scowl at Paige, who was hanging her jacket on the coatrack.

  “What?” Paige sounded guilty. “I texted her on the way home.”

  “Of course,” I muttered.

  “So you sucked face with a congressman?” Hazel’s smile was so big our small apartment could barely contain it.

  “Governor,” Paige clarified. “And I told you to bat your eyes, not swallow tongue.”

  “I didn’t know who he was,” I protested. “He seemed so casual and—”

  “Roman Reese seemed casual?” Paige scoffed.

  “Well, sort of. I mean, he’s got that brooding thing going on, but there was something…different.”

  Which was the only reason I had stuck around as long as I did. I’d been terrified of being found out, but Roman had a commanding stillness that sucked me in and made me want to be near him.

  Maybe that’s how all women felt around him.

  While replaying that kiss, every moment and sensation, it was hard to imagine what he had been thinking. I was definitely not as smooth and practiced as he was. What had probably been just another night in the life of Governor Reese had left me reeling.

  “And how could you not know who Governor Reese is?” Paige asked.

  “I’ve heard of Governor Reese, but he introduced himself as Roman. And I blame our lack of cable for not recognizing him.”

  After Paige and I had maneuvered our way out of the gala and into a cab, she’d spent the ride home telling me the basics about Governor Reese. He was thirty-three, an ambitious young man with a wealthy family and an Ivy League background. Exactly the kind of man I had learned never to tangle with.

  Hazel clapped her hands. “Love it! Tell me everything!”

  I plopped down on the couch next to her while Paige went into the kitchen and made coffee. Our three-bedroom apartment was cozy and relatively quiet. Paige had been my best friend since childhood. When I’d moved in with her and Hazel, I’d hit it off with Hazel instantly. We’d grown close quickly, and were now a trifecta of awesome friendship.

  “Paige, I’m so sorry,” I called. Our living room and kitchen were partially divided by a pastel yellow four-foot wall. “I didn’t want to put your job in jeopardy.”

  She was the assistant to the New York communications chief of staff, and not only was she good at her job, she worked hard for it.

  Paige started the coffeemaker and looked at me. “Well, that will depend on how good a kisser you are, huh?”

  I scoffed.

  Hazel’s eyes went wide. “Oooh, so it was good?”

  “By the time I got to her, the woman was blushing from head to toe,” Paige said, smiling.

  I rested my forehead in my palm.

  “I think this is a good thing,” Hazel said, rubbing my back. “You haven’t dated since you broke up with Warren. When was that? Like a year ago?”

  “Two. And he dumped me,” I muttered. “Plus, making out with the governor hardly counts as dating.”

  After the initial shock had worn off, reality that I wasn’t ready for had filtered into my brain. There was a reason I hadn’t dated since Warren, several reasons in fact, ranging from heartbreaking to soul crushing. A ping of regret and terror slithered down my spine, and I pushed that familiar ache away.

  “Well, you could see Roman again, if you meet him like he asked,” Paige said.

  “Wait, he asked you out?” Hazel piped up.

  “Sort of.” I wrapped a strand of hair around my finger. The same one he had been touching when he’d kissed me.

  My hair was longer now than it had ever been, falling to just above the small of my back. My mother had told me once that when I kept it long, I looked more like my sister. Aside from the occasional trim, I hadn’t cut it since Lauren passed away seven years ago. And in that time, neither my hairstyle nor my accomplishments seemed to matter to my parents. Nothing changed the fact that I wasn’t Lauren.

  “So…” Hazel pushed. “Are you going to go out with him?”

  “I don’t know. It seems…wrong.”

  “Wrong?” Paige came into the living room, juggling three mugs of steaming liquid. “The whole reason you went to the gala in the first place was to get funding to build this rehab center. To catch the ear of someone who has influence over the budget.” She set the mugs on the coffee table and shrugged. “Of course, you caught the mouth of s
omeone instead of the ear, but it was close.”

  “Ha ha,” I mumbled.

  Paige was right. I had caught something. Maybe bad judgmentitis, or I’m-so-hard-up-I’ll-kiss-a-stranger-ism. There was something hypnotic about him, though. I had become used to being ignored and blending in. But from the moment I looked into his eyes, I couldn’t look away. Amidst strangers, classy women, and wealthy politicians, he saw me. And it felt good.

  “Honey, I love you, and I know this rehab center is your baby. You moved to New York for this opportunity. This isn’t like Indiana. If you want to head up a major project, you’re going to have to talk to powerful people, plead your case, and get the funding you need. If you can’t, you’re going to struggle in this profession. You have a golden ticket to sit down with the governor of New York and make your case.”

  Paige’s words were soothing and yes, I knew she loved me. And as usual, she was right. The problem was, this probably wasn’t the right profession for me.

  Warren Cunningham III had turned me off to the elite and entitled population two years ago. After a few years of dating, and helping him graduate summa cum laude from Notre Dame, I’d found out that he had only been dating me as part of an agreement with his family. If he stayed on the “right path” and “maintained a respectable image,” he would get his inheritance. I, apparently, was the brainy, quiet girl who made him study, wrote his term papers, and helped him look like a gentleman while he secretly cheated and lied, and then left me with nothing more than a damaged sense of self-worth and a broken heart.

  “Don’t,” Hazel snapped.

  “What?” I looked at her petite finger directed at me.

  “I know that look. You’re thinking about that douche bag. Don’t.”

  It was hard not to. Everything about tonight had reminded me of what it had been like being around his family and in that world. The Cunninghams had had socialite status, political standing, and oil money, and they hadn’t wanted their precious son staining the family name with partying and wild nights. All the while, I was merely his cover, and everyone had known but me. Eight hundred days later, it still stung.

  “What he did was disgusting and you’re better than that,” Hazel said. “Look at all you’ve accomplished.”

  “I haven’t accomplished anything, though. I’ve constructed the idea, and planned and budgeted for this center, but that doesn’t mean anything if it doesn’t get built.”

  When I wasn’t trying to scout for support and funding for this new center, I was spending most of my time sending out e-mails and making phone calls, trying to get volunteers to help with some of the programs we offered at our existing facilities. Important, yes. But enough to set me apart from the other employees? No. And definitely not enough to get a blink of an eye from my parents.

  If this Arbor Hill center got up and running, maybe then my parents would see me. See how much I loved them, and how much I loved and still missed Lauren. How I never meant to hurt her…

  I couldn’t fix the past. Couldn’t change that night. God knows how much I wish I could go back, make different choices, and have her still be alive. But I couldn’t, and I had no idea when—or if—my parents would ever forgive me for Lauren’s death.

  All I could do now was try to make the present better. Make this center happen. Then maybe Lauren’s overdose would spark awareness, and this rehab and prevention facility could give people a chance to get clean and heal before it was too late. If only one family was spared the pain my family had gone through, then it would be worth it.

  “You’re on the brink of a very important meeting,” Paige said.

  “Dinner,” I amended, but she didn’t bother with the correction.

  Paige was a wonderful woman, but she had her own issues, and throwing herself into a bloodthirsty political world where she got to exercise her cutthroat needs was a good thing for her. It was how she thrived. However, emotional balance wasn’t her strong point.

  “Let me explain how this works.” Paige held out her hands, palms up. “Here is the governor,” she said, lifting one hand slightly. “Right now, he’s drafting and finalizing the budget, then he’s going to send it to the legislature.” She lifted her other palm. “Once they get his proposed budget, they review, make changes to, and sign off on it. Then it becomes an appropriation bill.” Her green eyes focused on me. “Amy, if you got your project put on the docket with the governor’s support for state funding, you could get the New Beginnings Arbor Hill center its own bill, which would mean government funding for a lot longer than a single year.”

  “Whoa,” Hazel said, taking the one word I wanted to use.

  If Roman were to designate specific funding for New Beginnings with my rehab center as the head project, that would be a big step forward. But to actually secure the funds and get an appropriation bill? That would be a slam dunk, and would most likely mean long-term job security for me.

  “You have a dinner date with the governor of New York,” Paige reminded me. “How are you going to use it?”

  Looking to the ceiling, I let out a loud breath.

  Damn it. I wanted this to work. Was I comfortable in my current career? Not entirely. But I would be. In time. I wanted this rehab center built. And I wanted my job. But I needed the funding to make that happen. Still, one fact remained that I couldn’t ignore.

  “I know what it feels like to be used,” I whispered, looking at Paige. “I can’t do that to him.”

  Especially when tonight, there had definitely been something more behind those dark eyes. Politician or not, Roman Reese was different. He made me feel like all the greed and deceit that went with the rich and powerful didn’t exist. Not with him. Going to dinner with ulterior motives was not something I wanted to do, or the kind of person I wanted to be. He had asked me for something true, and I had told him.

  I just hoped that truth lasted until next week.

  It had been several days since I’d kissed the governor, and I’d spent most of them thinking about him. Angelo’s was a romantic, candlelit restaurant with red table linens. I tugged on the hem of my short black dress, clutched my small wallet, and walked toward the hostess.

  “Is there a Mr. Reese already here?” I asked.

  The woman smiled. “Right this way.”

  I followed her to the very back of the restaurant where, in the shadows of a dimly lit corner, sat Roman Reese. His eyes fixed on my face, and I felt like a mouse circling a watering hole while a hawk watched from above. He followed my every move.

  Forcing myself not to fidget, or to cover the subtly low neckline of my dress, I sat down. The dress was another of Paige’s, and a bit tighter than I preferred, but nicer than anything I owned. Roman, however, looked calm in a perfectly fitted steel-gray suit and black tie.

  “Miss Underwood.”

  “Hi.” I smiled.

  He didn’t return the gesture. In fact, he looked pissed. Pins pricked along my forearms and the hair on the nape of my neck stood up. He didn’t say anything. Merely kept that unnerving gaze on me until a waiter poured us wine and shuffled off.

  “It’s nice to see you again,” I stated, not sounding convincing even to myself. The tremble in my voice was apparent.

  All weekend I had been thinking about this man. About the heat he made me feel and the intensity of his presence. I didn’t know how tonight would go, but so far, that intense presence had shifted to suffocating.

  “Is it?” he asked. “I suppose it must be, considering you didn’t get to pitch yourself to me the last time we interacted.” He said the last word like he’d tasted something foul, and embarrassment instantly flooded through me. Heat inched across my face and I could hear every pulse of my heart thumping in my temples. “I know who you are, Amy. You work for New Beginnings and are apparently quite ambitious.”

  I swallowed hard. He didn’t stop his assertions.

  “For the past three years, your federally funded—” he over-enunciated the words, “organization has begged m
e for special consideration and state funding on top of what it already receives.” He folded his hands on top of the table. “But I see that my rejection has only spurred the notion of more direct tactics.”

  His hot, black gaze skated over my breasts, and I couldn’t get my lungs to function right.

  “I…I didn’t…”

  “You didn’t sneak into a private gala, violate security measures, and trespass with the intent to harass and sway political leaders, myself included?”

  “No!” I shot out. “I mean…yes. I went to the party to talk to some people. To show them why this rehab center would be a good thing and deserves funding.”

  “You have federal funding.”

  “That’s to keep the programs we already have going. This is for building and staffing a brand-new facility.”

  His jaw clenched and I bit my lip because, damn it, this wasn’t the reason I’d come tonight. I’d wanted to see him. To have a nice dinner, and maybe get a glimpse of the first man who’d made me feel real in a very big world that didn’t seem to have space for me.

  “I know who snuck you in, Miss Underwood.” My eyes shot to his. “It’s a shame. Bill really liked Paige. She was a good assistant. Rising fast, I’m told.”

  “Was?” I choked out.

  “Once I inform Bill of Paige’s indiscretion, he’ll obviously have to let her go. She disregarded policy and went against security measures.”

  “Wait, please don’t fire Paige. This is my fault, not hers.”

  He sat back in his chair. “Those big, blue eyes are so wide that I could almost believe you.”

  His smile was so guarded I could feel it like a physical force, weighing me down. I remembered how just a week ago, that mouth had looked very different. Felt different. Hot and gentle. Hard and consuming. The man before me was all power and politics and I couldn’t win. Didn’t even have a chance.

  “Perhaps we can come to an arrangement,” he said. “You came here tonight, like last week, because you want something from me.”